England 4 – Croatia spanked

Reading the teleprinter (remember World Of Sport?) on last night’s match, my resident pundit Andy writes:

“OK, we knew what the result had to be after the national anthems. The only anthem more dirge-like than our own.

A commendable performance. However once again there were weak moments and performances.

The first Croatian goal? Set-piece, cough. A decent keeper would have been on top of that and would have held it. The second Croatian goal? More or less a set-piece. I hate to have to agree with Peter Reid on account of his being a scouser and all, but that back post was more open than a Off License in Keighley. Michael Owen was his usual self though. Good to know that our prized striker is always a yard shorter than the previous time. I had visions of him being sat in the crowd by the end of the game. Which is where he should be.

I was more impressed with the Croatian keeper than James which is going some seeing he let in four goals.

Rooney though? Rooney? Say it with me now. ROONEY. You knew both his were going in. The man may be a scouser but Jesus H son of a Biscuit Christ, there is hope in this life.

I’d have personally prefered Greece (cough, Ronaldo, cough) but Portugal will do.

One last bit of punditry. Nice shades Posh.”

I have family in Keighley.

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