And your commentator for the game is…

Andy Yates, whom I have decided to adopt as the Euro 2004 football pundit for Even though he’s a zillion timezones away in Minneapolis where the games cost him $20 on pay-per-view, his devotion to the English game and unflinching reportage make him the obvious choice.

To encourage some click-throughs, here’s a small sample of his style:

England v France
Heskey came on and couldn’t remain upright or for that matter keep anyone else upright (cough, free kick, cough.) David James is a bloody donkey although he did have some moments where he looked like he had seen a football before….So how did it end 2-1? Three names for you: James, Heskey and Owen. Leave them all out for the next game Sven or I’ll send Ulrika round to pick up her CDs.

England v Switzerland
“I’m starting to wonder if David James ever moves for set-pieces. Once again he stood there like a deer in the headlights…And what the hell was that [single] Owen shot? My eighteen month old son has a better right foot than that…Thank God Heskey didn’t grace us with his presence.”

And now back to the studio – Gary?

3 Responses to “And your commentator for the game is…”

  1. Andy says:

    Sshh. The wife doesn’t know it’s pay per view!

  2. zoe says:

    i was going to marry michael owen when he gows up, but i think i’ve changed minds …

  3. You think you’ve changed minds – with Michael Owen?!

Leave a Reply