One way or another, I have been sick for the last seven months. Various theories include post-infection problems after nursing our dying calf Willow last year, some form of inflammatory bowel disease or, God forbid, something more serious.
Things have slowly worsened over the last six months, requiring me to adjust my diet, take all sorts of medications and, in recent weeks, take sick leave from work to try and get things under control.
Today sees me a third of the way through a 36 hour liquids-only fast and preparing, dear Lord, to drink 3 litres of gastrointestinal tract flushing agent ahead of a colonoscopy tomorrow.
Strangely enough, I am keen to get this done, know what’s going on and find out what needs to be done going forward. It will not surprise those who know me that my idea of how the procedure will go is something like the Billy Connolly’s ‘connoll-oscopy’ (not for the faint-hearted or easily-offended).
Last word goes to our friend and local vet Dave who has been through the same procedure and offered me these words of wisdom.
“It’s not the camera up the bum you need to worry about – it’s getting the tripod back out after!”